Ok, you probably have gathered that I’m always up for new adventures, so I have to tell you about a recent experience of mine! You likely know by now that I’ve evolved into an ever increasing sex-positive individual. I have well documented life experience as well as a couple of amazing sex positive psychologists to thank in large part for this. I’ve chucked the shame element that was such a big part of my sexual past and which held me back from getting well. I’ve embraced my sexuality, and through my life coaching, have helped others, particularly women do the same in order to help them move forward as well. And I’m always looking to help struggling couples find a way back after difficulty, whether it be due to straying or loss of spark. I experienced this situation personally of course and it comes up constantly in my coaching. The idea of pain to purpose. Putting my experience to good use.
Knowing this, I’m always looking to learn, embrace and accept things I once never could imagine. Always looking to open my mind a little further, without judgment. So when some liberal minded friends of ours suggested I experience an adults only – clothing optional resort with them, I strongly considered, given the possibility that even if it wasn’t for me, perhaps this could be something that could potentially benefit some of my clients. Or at the very least, where I could learn and grow. I recalled a time in my life when I would have judged something like this. It’s something I would have never dreamed I would become willing to experience, and would even be excited to do so.
So my husband and I decided to take our friends up on their offer and make the trip to Cancun. They had been to the resort numerous times and told us in advance nudity would be the norm. For me, I’m accustomed to being naked around the house quite a bit, have modeled in the nude and have experienced how getting comfortable with being naked has aided me in my issues I’ve had with body image and self-esteem. As for my husband, I’m not going to say he’s uptight, as he’s a liberal minded dude when it comes to sex and sexuality. Maybe not to my level, but he gets it. But the idea of him stripping down at a public pool was absolutely terrifying to him. I’ll confess I found this rather amusing 🙂 He’s as calm and cool as they get, so I like to see him squirm on the rare occasion when he’s out of his comfort zone. To get him to sign off, I promised zero pressure. He could do as he felt comfortable. Totally respect the idea of not pushing.
This particular resort is for couples only and we knew that PDA could be on full display. Guests can be divided into categories here. Some are simply curious, some voyeurs, some in the “Lifestyle”, and some just want to immerse themselves in a sexually charged environment, while others are what you would call “nudists”. There is unquestionably a sexual vibe throughout the resort. We met doctors, and lawyers, and nurses, a dentist, a marine, a pilot, some stay at home moms, a school principal, a CEO. Generally successful people as rooms started at $700 per night.
We arrived at the resort and were greeted by a pretty hostess who would walk us through what the resort had to offer and what to expect. We were quickly reminded that no photography in public areas was permitted. Also were given our yellow bracelets which signified that we were “first timers”. But as we were sitting there exchanging pleasantries with the hostess, out of the corner of my eye and outside the large window walked by a somewhat elderly couple, completely naked, just casually strolling around as if “nothing to see here.” As free spirit as I may be, my reaction, “Holy shit, what on earth did we sign up for?”
So let me give you an idea of the setting. There are around 150 rooms. Accommodations are nice, but not of the five star variety. And it’s clear the focus is on service and experience as opposed to luxury. Guests hang at either the ocean or the pool. The ocean is more chill, and everyone appears to be naked. Couples laying in cabanas, strolling the beach, perhaps playing beach volleyball or sitting by the oceanside bar. It’s all-inclusive, so you find alcohol is a big part of the experience (I don’t drink, but don’t need it to let loose). The pool is not huge, and I would say at least 80% of guests there are nude. Very few of the men, like my husband, in board shorts, some of the women in bikinis. Most all women at least topless. I choose to go topless, as that was my personal comfort level. Clothing is actually required at many areas of the resort. Particularly on dining areas.
But It’s all a bit shocking at first. It really is. I’m not going to lie. This is so far removed from what we are accustomed to. There literally are body parts everywhere at the pool and beach. Every type and size body you can imagine. Some truly beautiful bodies, some maybe not so much, but that’s the beauty of it. The age range varies dramatically. In general, the older set seems most comfortable being completely butt naked. It’s truly free to be, and these people are so entirely comfortable in their skin. You sense it quickly, though it’s hard not to stare at first (thank goodness for sunglasses). But here’s the deal, and I mean this so entirely truthfully. After not a lot of time, it all starts to normalize. It becomes no big deal, and as Mark said on day two, “You kind of feel like a tool for having your shorts on.” That being said he quickly mentions, “Not a chance in hell these things are coming off though.”
As it gets late in the day, you can tell the alcohol has taken effect on some. There is the occasional couple displaying public affection by the pool, but for the most part, you learn this happens only in designated areas at certain times which is good if you don’t really want it in your face. At this venue, it’s at a rooftop hot tub area at 5:00pm and around 2:00am. So if that floats your boat, it’s there for you. Most seem to just watch the few that have the courage to “put on a show.” Being watched seems to be a thing here. And if it’s all a little over the top for you, you don’t have to be a part of it. I’m hardly uptight, but we chose not to partake, and the choice is a nice thing to have.
People are amazingly on schedule here. There is a clear cut routine that most everybody follows. Guests have breakfast. Then pool or beach from around 10:00am until 5:00. There is yoga by the beach in the late morning. In fact, the cute guy running it could see that I was more skilled at it than he, so he actually asked me if I could teach the yoga class each day, which of course I was more than happy to do. Plenty of other fun and sometimes racy activity options throughout the day. Everybody dresses to impress for dinner. A theme night at 9:00. Dancing from 11:00 until around 2am. Then for those who are still awake (We never made it close to this far), socializing and mingling in the hot tub until around 3-4am that apparently gets pretty crazy. Then repeat.
It’s a party atmosphere without a doubt. Lots of drinking. So for those who are “all in” for the time they stay (some we talked with were staying up to two weeks), I can only imagine the crash they experience when it’s all over. Both physically and emotionally.
Well we’re both entirely grateful for the experience. While I would not say that we were converted to becoming nudists, our minds were opened without a doubt. It really was beautiful to see people so comfortable in their natural state. In fact, when we left and arrived at the airport, it took some re-adjustment to see hoards of people fully clothed. You come away feeling these people would be judged by so many, but you also come away feeling like they may just have it right. Confirmation of a question I often ask myself. Why the hell are we so uptight about the naked body? Why do we sexualize it all in our society? Well you spend enough time in that environment, and all that “uptightedness” (is that a word?) and sexualization tends to dissipate, as does any degree of judgment. It really does and it’s cool.
Oh and here’s the other thing…. Holy shit are these people friendly. This is a very, very social thing. We were constantly approached by guests and learned to so the same. This venue attracts people who don’t judge. Who love life. Who love people. Who live life to the fullest. Who don’t feel the pull to conform. Who obviously don’t care what others think. And I love that. You know me. That’s what I’m all about. So I realized pretty quickly….. these are my people. I’m not sure if we’ll ever go back, but I can tell you this is something I would recommend EVERYBODY try it or something similar at least once. To step out of your comfort zone and perhaps erase some false assumptions. I admit, I had pre-conceived ideas and assumptions at one time. No more. Basically, don’t knock it until you try it. Yet another liberating and educational experience that contributes to my growth, and for that, I’m so very grateful!
PS. In case you are wondering, on the last day at the pool. Me. Butt Naked. When in Rome. 🙂