A Few Random (& Somewhat Smart Ass) Thoughts

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People are not what they portray publicly. Not even close.

I wish we all posted pictures when we looked and felt like shit too.

I still care what others think a little too much. #WorkInProgress

Thought Charlie Sheen had bipolar long ago, but it didn’t feel appropriate to say.

I’m fortunate, very fortunate to have the forum to get my life back through a memoir & media. Not everybody has that luxury, and I don’t take it for granted. There are people out there who have lost everything, are shunned, written off when mental illness was a huge factor. People don’t care. #IAmBlessed

Hey UW Athletic Dept, can I get an invite to one of those “LEGENDS” functions again one of these years? Are we good? You cut my husband’s baseball program & fired my coach and I stuck with you. You have known of my bipolar disorder for nearly 3 years now. Regardless, I’ll always love you. But hey, #stigma

I like people who are rough around the edges. Who are a little messy. Real.

There are some amazing individuals out there trying to make a difference when it comes to mental illness. I’ve been blown away.

I think I take “you learn who your true friends are” to a new level. In other words, my friends today are extremely awesome!

Some guy emailed me the other day to urge me to let my hair grow natural and sell my heels. Said I should portray a more wholesome image. Really? #LetMeBeMe

We all say our spouse is the “most amazing”. Mine proved it. In good times and in bad. In sickness and in health.

For those who said my daughter would be scarred for life. She’ll prove you wrong. Wish others could be as tolerant and compassionate as she has become. And how exactly does telling someone they will be scarred for life represent a positive as you’re trying to take the high road? smh There will be extra challenges along the way I’m sure, and we’ll have to step up as parents, but believe me, if you know her, she’s going to kick ass in this world.

My daughter has more mental illness knowledge than 99% of public. She’s 10. Sad but true.

If you wonder why I remain friends with woman who happen to be sexworkers / I follow on Twitter (have received several notes about this). Well, I don’t bail on friends for the sake of appearance, and I happen to take no issue with what they do for a living. This was an evolution for me through experience. Before Vegas, I probably would have judged too. I also feel a woman has the right to do with her body as she chooses. How hypocritical am I if I bail on a friend when I ask my friends not to bail on me?

My empathy for sex workers is a complicated balancing act in that I don’t want to do anything to take away from my credibility as a mental health advocate. MH is, and always will be my priority, but at the same time, SW an important issue to me, and one I don’t wish to ignore. It’s important to me to show my support to people I know first hand are shamed and shunned consistently. It’s important to me that we treat sex workers with dignity as people first so we can look smartly and objectively at the real problems of societies and cultures that might have put some of these women in situations where there were no better alternatives. And we might also see that some women, believe it or not, want to do this, of free will. It’s not so black and white.

So I support legalization of sexwork because regardless of laws in place, it’s NOT going away, and current laws only push it underground where bad things are more prone to happen. I’m not naïve to the bad elements, so by all means, prosecute true traffickers and pimps to the FULL extent and provide sensible and effective alternatives for women who want out or do it out of desperation to survive. You really want to help? Stop arresting women (so giving them a criminal record provides them with a future? An alternative career?), calling them whores and treating them as subhuman like they don’t matter. If it doesn’t match up to your moral code, that’s fine, but your morals are not necessarily my morals, or the morals of a gal trying to make ends meet or support a family.

Media can be difficult to deal with. Usually an agenda you have to try to get past. Good ones and bad ones. Best interviews for me have come from people who get mental illness and / or sex positive individuals. The worst tend to get bogged down by the moral element of the sex.

Elizabeth Vargas with 20/20 came in a skeptic I believe, and after spending hours and hours with us, became an advocate. I know she’s pulling for my family and I. That means a great deal to me. Forever grateful they did a complete story. Not the case with some who don’t do homework and try to sensationalize with their interviews. My story is easily sensationalized if someone wants to go that route.

As much good as it might do, it’s difficult for me to discuss the darkness I still experience sometimes. I still have very down episodes, but they tend to be not as frequent, nor as severe. Thankful

Every day, 22 American Veterans die from suicide (They don’t “commit” suicide). Please think about that one.

Still waiting for that day when I don’t see the word “selfish” in a comments section when it’s in the news that somebody has died from suicide.

Some mornings I do wake up and I go, ” how the hell?”

Secret to my successful running career: I have webbed toes.

The book (& media tour) was a huge trigger for me. Huge.

Something I’ve learned through all of this….There are some really good people out there.

Something else I have learned through all of this…There are some really bad people out there.

Just because an athlete is publicly anti-drug doesn’t mean shit to me. Great when someone legitimately wants a clean sport, but too many cases where it turned out to be BS. You just never know. Like the old, “so and so has never failed a drug test”. Can’t believe that actually means something to some people.

The sexual double standard for women kills me.

LinkedIn is a pick up site. I kid you not. Geez! It’s comical.

You have no idea who participates in sex for money on both ends. You’d be blown away.

Drug problem was awful when I competed. Shoe exec I worked with recently told me it’s even worse now. Hard to fathom & sad.

Most elite runners have been more privately supportive than publicly. But I would have done the same if in their shoes at one time in my life. They are small businesses really, and must do what’s good for business. I’m truly grateful for the support they give me. And for those who have truly stepped up publicly, you’re a rare breed & you know who you are.

My book has been well received, but those who don’t like it tend to consistently get bogged down by the moral element of the sex. They never get to the illness element. For each their own, but for the life of me, I don’t understand why so many in this country are so uptight about the word that starts with S and ends in X. SexSexSexSex. There, I said it.

The healing begins when you forgive yourself first.

If you are under the impression I left Wisconsin because I didn’t like it, that’s not the case. I love my home state. ALWAYS will. I needed anonymity, warmer weather so I could be outside more often doing my thing, the ocean. I will still spend summers back in Madison. I will ALWAYS be Wisconsin Proud.

Hey Regina, since I aired all my dirty laundry, want to do the same and toss a few US championships my way? #NoChanceInHell #LetItGoHamilton